Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
