nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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