you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
