my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
