I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
