To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
