I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
