how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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