I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
