My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
