If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
