At least make sure they are 18
Why
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
