He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
