At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
