just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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