i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We're too hungover to prance.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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