Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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