He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
