I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
