I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
