So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just tell him i said nine months
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
