U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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