New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
