Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we're making bets on your personal life
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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