Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
