I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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