I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
