can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize