My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
