are you so shy because you have an std?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
