I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
