I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize