In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Randomize
