If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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