this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
