what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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