Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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