matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
