You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
