I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
