consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
