So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
