Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
