so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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