You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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