I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
