i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
