Having a random hookup so left but love u
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
