with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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