Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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