Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
