That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
