I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize