he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
