Kiss
Puke
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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