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Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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