Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize