Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
my poor anus
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
